A successful glow up requires a shift in mindset. It’s the pivotal point when one realizes their real worth. Suddenly, all of the bullshit you’ve put up with, is no longer something you are willing to accept. For months, I would write down my intentions to the Universe as I am open to receiving love, happiness, and opportunity. The Universe responded here and there on those requests. When I shifted the language of my intentions to, I only accept love, happiness and opportunity, the Universe began to respond quicker and more frequently. Things that I had asked for would pop up in the most unexpected ways - all because my language became more direct.
But let’s back-up for a second. A glow up is a moment in one’s life when a chapter needs to close, in order to make room for something bigger and better. Glow ups can occur after a break-up, leaving a job, graduating from college, or spontaneously just because. I highly recommend as step one that you pull the trigger on that badass haircut you always wanted. Listen, hair grows back and every pharmacy in America sells Biotin. Don’t wanna take the plunge on a new do? Get a blow out. The glow up is an extra acceptable time to make yourself feel pretty.
While staying on fleek is absolutely part of a glow up, its essence remains in the mindset. Sure, it can seem scary to move on from something and dive into the unknown. However, that’s why it is so crucial that a new attitude be the focus of your glow up. At the core of it all, it's about believing that you deserve the best, recognizing that you are allowed to want certain things and giving yourself permission to go ahead and get it. If you accept your worth and deny fuck shit, then you are only allow the good and positive in your energy space.
I’ve been called a c*** for cutting people out of my life. While I understand the initial outrage that can be felt, I don’t think ending a friendship or a relationship is the worst thing in the world. It’s normal to outgrow certain people and situations. Hell yeah I’ve distanced myself from people who began to drain my energy or were low key haters. Things in life aren’t meant to last forever. The utter truth is that sometimes your frequency no longer matches up with someone. This can happen over time naturally or with big life changes. From personal experience, big life changes such as breakups, new jobs, phases and growth have shifted certain friendship dynamics. A sudden life changing event can really reveal true colors and put someone you thought you knew, into a whole new light. When I broke up with a long term boyfriend of six years, certain people invested in this friend dynamic weren’t able to accept the situation and adapt. I no longer felt accepted, but instead judged based on my relation to someone else and my decision for ending it. Me as a whole, wasn’t enough for certain people to accept. So I cut all ties. Friends who can’t adapt to new situations or appreciate the essence of you - have got to go.
Pay attention, sis - energy doesn’t lie. Learn how to observe your thoughts and feelings.If someone or something is constantly giving you that deep gut wrenching feeling, then it’s not good for your soul. I’ve been there, many times. As I’ve gotten older and experienced that deep pitted feeling in my stomach, I now recognize that bitch as a warning sign. I’ve felt it with job situations, past relationships with exes and other moments of deep vulnerability. It will suck your soul and consume your thoughts.
What happens when a bad habit or situation is replayed one too many times and it slowly morphs into a new norm? It then just becomes a habit, not even labeled as ‘bad’ anymore. But for those who are not quote on quote, woke, a bad behavior can easily become a new norm. I think this is why people find it so hard to let things or people go. If you’ve indulged in it a thousand times over, it now becomes comfy, something familiar. It becomes so ingrained in you, that the thought of breaking free, actually is scary. I ‘dated’ someone for a year and a half, who refused to commit and wouldn’t even say ‘I love you’ back. But when you are in it, you can’t always see clearly. Eventually, there’s a breaking point and you simply run out of fuel. In hindsight, that situationship was an emotional rollercoaster, I never want to be on again. I firmly believe that we need to cut the dead weight that may be dragging us down, in order to feel and see the light. Once you muster up the courage to do so, that dead weight will be lifted and you’ll feel the light actually radiating on your skin.
The good news is, you have more control over your situation than you thought. Most of the time we feel attached because of time invested in something or someone. It’s never too late to prioritize your well being. I don’t regret any of my past relationships, friendships or situationships that I’ve been in. In fact, I often like to think about the good memories that were created during those times in my life. I believe it’s important to acknowledge that those memories were real as fuck and will always remain in the past; acknowledge in order to let go.